When Mom deploys

Ethan, 7, Ryan, 5, and Chris Heath put their afternoon energy to work on the outdoor gym equipment at Belvoir Elementary School. The Heaths rely heavily on family in the local area while wife and mom Lt. Col. Tammy Heath is deployed to Afghanistan.

For most moms, Mother's Day means no cooking, no cleaning and maybe even breakfast in bed, but for mothers in the military this doesn't always hold true.

Mothers who serve in the military often face not only missing Mother's Day, but also missing birthdays, anniversaries and other important events, not to mention months or years in their children's lives.

The following stories describe how four Fort Belvoir families are coping while their mothers and wives are deployed.

Learning to be a single parent
Karon Taylor and his daughter try to talk to wife and mother Staff Sgt. Suzieth Taylor every day, but its not always easy.

Suzieth is currently deployed at Camp Liberty in Iraq and has not seen her husband or 3-year-old daughter, Janiyah, for nine months.

"The biggest change for me was to leave my family back home, especially our daughter, who was 2 years old at the time. Now, when I get home she will be 4 years old," said Suzieth through an e-mail interview "I told my daughter that I was going to be gone a long time and I would be back soon, and daddy told her I was in Iraq, but of course she doesn't understand."

Karon and Suzieth try to talk in some way everyday. Karon, who is an information assurance officer for the Program Executive Office - Enterprise Information Systems Chief Technology Office, talks to his wife through instant messages, cell phones, text messaging and their Web camera.

Suzieth reads books to her daughter through the Web camera and Karon keeps many pictures around the house, so that his daughter will recognize her mom.

"We look at pictures and [I] show her, her mother," said Karon. "She wants to kiss her mommy, so I pick her up to kiss the pictures."

Since his wife deployed, Karon has taken over their household by cleaning, cooking and maintaining the household.

Karon Taylor and daughter Janiyah, 3, work on problem-solving exercises on a weekend morning. Karon has "learned what being a single parent is like" while his wife, Staff Sgt. Suzieth Taylor, is deployed to Iraq. (Photo by Marny Malin)

"Since she left I have to do everything - so that makes it hard," Karon said. "I learned what being a single parent is like."

He wakes up every morning at 5 a.m. and gets ready for work; at 6:20 a.m. he gets Janiyah up and dressed for the day. Along the way he has learned some tricks - Janiyah needs to put on lotion every day and he has learned to do her hair.

Suzieth also faces a new set of challenges while working in Iraq in medical supply logistics, where she orders, receives and turns in medical supplies.

"My job is medical supplies, without that the doctors and medics would not be able to do their jobs," said Suzieth. "Everyone was upset at the time of notification but as the time drew close we all knew that this is something I have to do. "

Currently, Suzieth has been told that her unit will be heading home at the end of October or the beginning of November.

"Both me and my family have a hard time sometimes because I feel like I'm not there for them. I am away from them for 15 months - time that I can not make up for, especially [with] my daughter who keeps on growing and experiencing new things every day. I'm not going to get that time back, but I get to see them on the computer and we are able to talk sometimes," Suzieth said. "I tell my daughter all the time that I love her and miss her and I'll be home soon. I also tell her to keep on being a big girl for daddy and she [says okay and kisses] the phone."

Keeping up through pictures
Jeff McClaskey has taken more than 5,000 pictures of his son, Diego, 3, in the past three months.

The pictures are for his wife, Capt. Blanca Reyes, who deployed to Baghdad in February. This is her second deployment since Diego was born.

McClaskey takes pictures so that his wife can see her son as he grows while she is away. They also bought her a photograph printer so that she can print pictures of Diego and hang them by her bed.

"We try not to get mad no matter how hard it is because we are still here, we're not there," said McClaskey.

Reyes works as a liaison officer for U.S. Intelligence and Security Command to the 1st Cavalry Division, where she assists the division and subordinate units in submitting requests for information.

"[This deployment] allows the individual I replace to come back home and be with their family, [and supports] the division with a pull back of intelligence support," Reyes said.

But, that doesn't make it any easier to leave her family.

"It just kills me to hear that [Diego] asks where I am at or when I'm coming back. A friend of mine took him for a day and he would tell her ëmy mama is far away!' It's hard to leave at child that age and to tell him that I have to leave again," said Reyes. "His sad face just breaks my heart and the expression is something that I can never forget."

McClaskey and Diego focus on staying busy and keeping a routine. They go to the movies every Friday and they send cards to Reyes on a regular basis. They also attend sporting events regularly, like the recent National Football League draft that they attended at FedEx Field.

"We just try to do stuff and stay busy," McClaskey said.

When Reyes does get a chance to talk to her son she always makes sure to tell him how much she loves him.

"[On the phone] we say our prayers because I tell him I'm going to bed and he tells me say your prayers, then I usually give him warm milk and he says my milk is over there next to him and I have to come get it," she said. "I ask if he's been good and helping dad out, then I tell him I love him and miss him very much and that I'll be home in a few months. He tells me he loves me and misses me too and tells me ëcome home mama. "It makes my heart melt."

A family decision
Lt. Col. Jennifer Peters volunteered for a 15-month deployment to serve as the assistant chief nurse with the 31st Combat Support Hospital in Southern Iraq.

"Prior to volunteering I sat down with my husband and two children and talked to them about what it would mean for all of us. We discussed the pros and cons and what everybody thought about me doing this," said Peters.

Peters left behind her husband, Jeff, and two teenage children, Nick, 17, and Emily, 15.

"I have been on active duty for over 16 years, and love being an Army nurse and taking care of Soldiers," she said. "As an Army nurse, my job is to go to where the Soldiers are, in this case, to Iraq."

The close-knit family tries to keep in touch on a regular basis through e-mail and telephone calls two to three times a week.

For Jeff, deputy commander for nursing at the DeWitt Health Care Network, the biggest change is not having his wife at work with him. They used to ride together to work and each lunch together every day.

"We're fortunate that she's safe in the hospital for the most part and she's not marching the streets of Baghdad, but what she's doing is very important," said Jeff.

Nick deals with the absence of his mother by focusing on school and extra curricular activities.

"I miss her already, so I'll just be happy to see her. She has a very dry sense of humor and corny jokes, but I miss it," said Nick.

Nick talks and writes with his mother regularly to pass the time, though one hardship the family will soon face is the fact that Jennifer will miss his high school graduation.

Emily passes the time by staying busy with work and picking up a lot of the house chores, but one positive is that she has grown closer to her father.

"My daughter and I have actually gotten to spend some time together through this," said Jeff. "My time with my daughter has been the biggest positive."

The Peters family will probably take a summer vacation when Jennifer returns from deployment in June 2008.

"So far, my family has done very well," Jennifer said in an e-mail interview. "Everyone has been very supportive - I got a beautiful letter from my 15-year-old daughter shortly before leaving telling me how proud she is of me and what I am doing. We also have our song, which is "I'm Already There" by Lonestar - she picked it out prior to me leaving. I have the words along with a picture of my children on my wall, where I can see them every day and think about what the song means."

Relying on family
Chris Heath and his two sons have come to rely on extended family more than ever in the past four months.

Lt. Col. Tammy Heath deployed to Bagram Airbase in Afghanistan in January and may be there for another 12 months, though no official date is set for her unit's return.

"My fortune in the situation is that we have family around," said Chris, who works at the National Geospatial Agency as a division chief.

Tammy is assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division where she is responsible for staff coordination and the conduct of information operations for Regional Command East.

"[My family] tends to take everything in stride. I am the weak one," said Tammy through an e-mail interview. "I miss them so much and at first I didn't want to call because I would get so sad, but when I did call they were so happy."

Ethan, 7, and Ryan, 5, now talk to their mother on the phone some nights and every other weekend.

"[Our mom] always says that she loves us," said Ethan. "We love her."

Chris has taken over the household chores -- buying groceries and making meals. The boys chip in on laundry and cleaning.

They have all come to rely on Tammy's sister and her children, who also live on Fort Belvoir, to help if Chris has to stay late at work or to help keep Ethan and Ryan's minds occupied.

"Is it a challenge? Yes. Is it hard? No," said Chris. "You just can't complain. It's all relative - you get into a routine and you just have to do it."

Tammy echoes the same thoughts.

"[This] is so important because if [we don't get the mission done] my kids will be here in 15 years doing this all over again. We can't have that," she said. "I tell [my kids] I miss them and I will be home soon and when I do [come home], we will play and play and play until mommy can't stand anymore."